Well, the blog has been dead for long and I am afraid that you might forget me. Time has been a real bitch and I haven't been able to finish on any entry since. Though, I truthfully have tried. Once again, another faithful attempt to keep the clock ticking. This is one of my all time favorite stories, by one of my favorite writers - Jeffrey Archer. Orginally published in 'A Twist in the Tale' , its a masterpiece. Read on and I assure you, you'll not regret.
CLEAN SWEEP IGNATIUS
FEW showed much interestwhen Ignatius Agarbi was appointed Nigeria's Minister of Finance. After all,the cynics pointedout, he was the seventeenth person tohold the office inseventeen years. In Ignatius's first major policy statement toParliament he promised to end graft and corruption in public life andwarned the electorate that no one holding an official position could feel safe unless he led a blameless life. He ended his maiden speech with thewords, "I intend to clear out Nigeria's Augean stables."Such was the impact of the minister's speech that it failed to get a mention in the Lagos Daily Times. Perhaps the editor considered that, since the paper had covered the speeches of theprevious sixteen ministers in extenso,his readers might feel they had heard it all before. Ignatius, however,was not to be disheartened by the lack of confidence shown in him, and set about his new task with vigour anddetermination. Within days of his appointment he had caused a minor official at the Ministry of Trade to be jailed for falsifying documents relating to the import of grain. The next to feel the bristles of Ignatius's new broom was a leading Lebanese financier, who was deported without trial for breach of the exchange control regulations. A month later came an event which even Ignatius considered a personal coup: thearrest of the Inspector General of Police for accepting bribes - aperk the citizens of Lagos had in the past considered went with thejob. When four months later the Police Chief was sentenced toeighteen months in jail, the new Finance Minister finally made the front page of the Lagos Daily Times. A leader on the centre page dubbed him "Clean Sweep Ignatius", the new broom every guilty man feared. Ignatius's reputation as Mr Clean continued to grow as arrest followed arrest and unfoundedrumours began circulating in the capital that even General Otobi, the Head of State, was under investigation by his own Finance Minister.Ignatius alone now checked, vetted and authorised all foreign contracts worth over one hundred million dollars. And although every decision he made was meticulously scrutinized by his enemies, not abreath of scandal ever became associated with his name.When Ignatius began his second year of office as Minister ofFinance even the cynics began to acknowledge his achievements. It was bout this time that General Otobi felt confident enough to callIgnatius in for an unscheduled consultation.The Head of State welcomed the Minister to Dodan Barracks andushered him to a comfortable chair in his study overlooking the paradeground."Ignatius, I have just finished going over the latest budget report and I am alarmed by your conclusion that the Exchequer is still losing millions of dollars each year in bribes paid to gobetweens by foreign companies. Have you any idea into whose pockets this money is falling? That's what I want to know."Ignatius sat bolt upright, his eyes never leaving the Head of State. "I suspect a great percentage ofthe money is ending up in private Swiss bank accounts but I am at present unable to prove it.""Then I will give you whatever added authority you require to doso," said General Otobi. "You can use any means you consider necessaryto ferret out these villains. Start by investigating every member of myCabinet, past and present. And show no fear or favour in yourendeavours, no matter what their rank or connections." "For such a task to have anychance of success I would need aspecial letter of authority signedby you, General . . ." "Then it will be on your desk bysix o'clock this evening," said theHead of State. "And the rank of AmbassadorPlenipotentiary whenever I travel abroad." Granted." "Thank you," said Ignatius, rising from his chair on the assumption that the audience was over. "You may also need this," said the General as they walked towards the door. The Head of State handed Ignatius a small automatic pistol."Because I suspect by now that you have almost as many enemies as I." Ignatius took the pistol from the soldier awkwardly, put it in hispocket and mumbled his thanks. Without another word passingbetween the two men Ignatius left his leader and was driven back tohis Ministry. Without the knowledge of the Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria and unhindered by any senior civil servants, Ignatiusenthusiastically set about his new task. He researched alone at night,and by day discussed his findings with no one. Three months later hewas ready to pounce.The Minister selected the month of August to make an unscheduled visit abroad as it was the time when most Nigerians went on holiday and his absence would therefore not be worthy of comment.He asked his Permanent Secretary to book him, his wife and their twochildren on a flight to Orlando, and to be certain that it wascharged to his personal account. On their arrival in Florida thefamily checked into the local Marriott Hotel. He then informed his wife, without warning or explanation, that he would bespending a few days in New York on business before rejoining them forthe rest of the holiday. The following morning Ignatius left hisfamily to the mysteries of Disney World while he took a flight to NewYork. It was a short taxi ride from La Guardia to Kennedy, where, aftera change of clothes and the purchase of a return tourist ticketfor cash, Ignatius boarded a Swissair flight for Genevaunobserved.Once in the Swiss capital Ignatius booked into an inconspicuous hotel,retired to bed and slept soundly for eight hours. Overbreakfast the following morning he studied the list of banks he had socarefully drawn up after completing his research in Nigeria: each namewas written out boldly in his own hand. Ignatius decided to startwith Gerber et Cie whose building, he observed from the hotel bedroom,took up half the Avenue de Parchine. He checked the telephonenumber with the concierge before placing a call. The chairman agreedto see him at twelve o'clock.Carrying only a battered briefcase, Ignatius arrived at the bank a few minutes before the appointed hour- an unusualoccurrence for a Nigerian, thought the young man dressed in a smartgrey suit, white shirt and grey silk tie, who was waiting in themarble hall to greet him. He bowed to the Minister, introducinghimself as the chairman's personal assistant, and explained that hewould accompany Ignatius to the chairman's office. The youngexecutive led the Minister to a waiting lift and neither manuttered another word until they had reached the eleventh floor. Agentle tap on the chairman's door elicited "Entree," which the youngman obeyed. "The Nigerian Minister of Finance, sir."The chairman rose from behind his desk and stepped forward to greet his guest. Ignatius could not help noticing that he too wore a grey suit, white shirt and grey silk tie."Good morning, Minister," thechairman said. "Won't you have a seat?" He ushered Ignatius towardsa low glass table surrounded by comfortable chairs on the far sideof the room. "I have ordered coffee for both of us if that isacceptable." Ignatius nodded, placed the battered briefcase on the floor by the side of his chair and stared out of the large plate-glass window. He made some smalltalk about the splendid view of the magnificentfountain while a girl served all three men with coffee.Once the young woman had left the room Ignatius got down to business."My Head of State has requested that I visit your bank with a rather unusual request," he began. Not a flicker of surprise appeared on the face of the chairman or his young assistant. "He has honoured me withthe task of discovering which Nigerian citizens hold numbered accounts with your bank." On learning this piece of information only the chairman's lips moved. "I am not at liberty to disclose -" "Allow me to put my case," said the Minister, raising a white palm. "First, let me assure you that I come with the absolute authority of my government." Without another word, Ignatius extracted an envelope from his inside pocket with a flourish. He handed it to the chairman who removed the letter inside and read it slowly.Once he had finished reading, thebanker cleared his throat. "This document, I fear, sir, carries novalidity in my country." He replaced it in the envelope and handed itback to Ignatius. "I am, of course," continued the chairman, "not for onemoment doubting that you have the full backing of your Head of State,both as a Minister and an Ambassador, but that does not changethe bank's rule of confidentiality in such matters. There are nocircumstances in which we would release the names of any of our account holders without their authority. I'm sorry to be of so little help, but those are, and will always remain, the bank rules." The chairman rose tohis feet, as he considered the meeting was now at an end; but hehad not bargained for Clean Sweep Ignatius."My Head of State," said Ignatius,softening his tone perceptibly,"has authorized me to approach your bank to act as the intermediary forall future transactions between my country and Switzerland.""We are flattered by yourconfidence in us, Minister," replied the chairman, who remainedstanding. "However, I feel sure that you will understand that itcannot alter our attitude to our customers' confidentiality." Ignatius remained unperturbed. "Then I am sorry to inform you, MrGerber, that our Ambassador in Geneva will be instructed to makean official communique to the Swiss Foreign Of lice about the lack ofco-operation your bank has shown concerning requests for informationabout our nationals." He waited for his words to sink in. "You couldavoid such embarrassment, of course, by simply letting me knowthe names of my countrymen who hold accounts with Gerber et Cie and theamounts involved. I can assure you we would not reveal the source ofour information." "You are most welcome to lodge such a communique, sir, and I feel sure that our Minister will explain to your Ambassador in the most courteous of diplomatic language that the Foreign Ministry does not have the authority under Swiss law to demand such disclosures.""If that is the case, I shall instruct my own ministry of Trade to halt all future dealings in Nigeria with any Swiss nationals until these names are revealed.""That is your privilege, Minister," replied the chairman,unmoved."And we may also have to reconsider every contract currentlybeing negotiated by your countrymen in Nigeria. And in addition I shallpersonally see to it that no penalty clauses are honoured.""Would you not consider such action a little precipitate?""Let me assure you, Mr Gerber,that I would not lose one moment of sleep over such a decision," saidIgnatius. "Even if my efforts to discover those names were to bringyour country to its knees I would not be moved.""So be it, Minister," replied the chairman. "However, it still does not alter the policy or the attitude of this bank toconfidentiality."."If that remains the case, sir, this very day I shall give instructions to our Ambassador to close our Embassy in Geneva and Ishall declare your Ambassador in Lagos persona non "rata."For the first time the chairman raised his eyebrows. "Furthermore," continued Ignatius, "I will hold a conference in London which will leave the world's press in no doubt of my Head of State's displeasure with the conduct of this bank. After such publicity Ifeel confident you will find that many of your customers would preferto close their accounts, while others who have in the pastconsidered you a safe haven may find it necessary to lookelsewhere."The Minister waited but still the chairman did not respond."Then you leave me no choice," said Ignatius, rising from hisseat.The chairman stretched out his arm, assuming that at last theMinister was leaving, only to watch with horror as Ignatius placed ahand in his jacket pocket and removed a small pistol. The twoSwiss bankers froze as the Nigerian Minister of Finance stepped forwardand pressed the muzzle against the chairman's temple."I need those names, Mr Gerber, and by now you must realise I will stop at nothing. If you don't supply them immediately I'm goingto blow your brains out. Do you understand?" The chairman gave a slight nod, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. "And he will be next,"said Ignatius, gesturing towards the young assistant, who stoodspeechless and paralysed a few paces away."Get me the names of every Nigerian who holds an account inthis bank," Ignatius said quietly, looking towards the young man, "orI'll blow your chairman's brains all over his soft pile carpet.Immediately, do you hear me?" he added sharply.The young man looked towards the chairman, who was now trembling but said quite clearly, "Nan, Pierre,jamais.""D 'accord," replied the assistant in a whisper."You can't say I didn't give you every chance." Ignatius pulled back the hammer. The sweat was nowpouring down the chairman's face and the young man had to turn hiseyes away as he waited in terror for the pistol shot.Excellent," said Ignatius, as he removed the gun from the chairman'shead and returned to his seat. Both the bankers were still tremblingand quite unable to speak. The Minister picked up the battered briefcase by the side ofhis chair and placed it on the glass table in front of him. Hepressed back the clasps and the lid flicked up.The two bankers stared down at the neatly packed rows ofhundred-dollar bills. Every inch of the briefcase had been taken up.The chairman quickly estimated that it probably amounted to around fivemillion dollars. "I wonder, sir," said Ignatius,"how I go about opening an accountwith your bank?"
FEW showed much interestwhen Ignatius Agarbi was appointed Nigeria's Minister of Finance. After all,the cynics pointedout, he was the seventeenth person tohold the office inseventeen years. In Ignatius's first major policy statement toParliament he promised to end graft and corruption in public life andwarned the electorate that no one holding an official position could feel safe unless he led a blameless life. He ended his maiden speech with thewords, "I intend to clear out Nigeria's Augean stables."Such was the impact of the minister's speech that it failed to get a mention in the Lagos Daily Times. Perhaps the editor considered that, since the paper had covered the speeches of theprevious sixteen ministers in extenso,his readers might feel they had heard it all before. Ignatius, however,was not to be disheartened by the lack of confidence shown in him, and set about his new task with vigour anddetermination. Within days of his appointment he had caused a minor official at the Ministry of Trade to be jailed for falsifying documents relating to the import of grain. The next to feel the bristles of Ignatius's new broom was a leading Lebanese financier, who was deported without trial for breach of the exchange control regulations. A month later came an event which even Ignatius considered a personal coup: thearrest of the Inspector General of Police for accepting bribes - aperk the citizens of Lagos had in the past considered went with thejob. When four months later the Police Chief was sentenced toeighteen months in jail, the new Finance Minister finally made the front page of the Lagos Daily Times. A leader on the centre page dubbed him "Clean Sweep Ignatius", the new broom every guilty man feared. Ignatius's reputation as Mr Clean continued to grow as arrest followed arrest and unfoundedrumours began circulating in the capital that even General Otobi, the Head of State, was under investigation by his own Finance Minister.Ignatius alone now checked, vetted and authorised all foreign contracts worth over one hundred million dollars. And although every decision he made was meticulously scrutinized by his enemies, not abreath of scandal ever became associated with his name.When Ignatius began his second year of office as Minister ofFinance even the cynics began to acknowledge his achievements. It was bout this time that General Otobi felt confident enough to callIgnatius in for an unscheduled consultation.The Head of State welcomed the Minister to Dodan Barracks andushered him to a comfortable chair in his study overlooking the paradeground."Ignatius, I have just finished going over the latest budget report and I am alarmed by your conclusion that the Exchequer is still losing millions of dollars each year in bribes paid to gobetweens by foreign companies. Have you any idea into whose pockets this money is falling? That's what I want to know."Ignatius sat bolt upright, his eyes never leaving the Head of State. "I suspect a great percentage ofthe money is ending up in private Swiss bank accounts but I am at present unable to prove it.""Then I will give you whatever added authority you require to doso," said General Otobi. "You can use any means you consider necessaryto ferret out these villains. Start by investigating every member of myCabinet, past and present. And show no fear or favour in yourendeavours, no matter what their rank or connections." "For such a task to have anychance of success I would need aspecial letter of authority signedby you, General . . ." "Then it will be on your desk bysix o'clock this evening," said theHead of State. "And the rank of AmbassadorPlenipotentiary whenever I travel abroad." Granted." "Thank you," said Ignatius, rising from his chair on the assumption that the audience was over. "You may also need this," said the General as they walked towards the door. The Head of State handed Ignatius a small automatic pistol."Because I suspect by now that you have almost as many enemies as I." Ignatius took the pistol from the soldier awkwardly, put it in hispocket and mumbled his thanks. Without another word passingbetween the two men Ignatius left his leader and was driven back tohis Ministry. Without the knowledge of the Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria and unhindered by any senior civil servants, Ignatiusenthusiastically set about his new task. He researched alone at night,and by day discussed his findings with no one. Three months later hewas ready to pounce.The Minister selected the month of August to make an unscheduled visit abroad as it was the time when most Nigerians went on holiday and his absence would therefore not be worthy of comment.He asked his Permanent Secretary to book him, his wife and their twochildren on a flight to Orlando, and to be certain that it wascharged to his personal account. On their arrival in Florida thefamily checked into the local Marriott Hotel. He then informed his wife, without warning or explanation, that he would bespending a few days in New York on business before rejoining them forthe rest of the holiday. The following morning Ignatius left hisfamily to the mysteries of Disney World while he took a flight to NewYork. It was a short taxi ride from La Guardia to Kennedy, where, aftera change of clothes and the purchase of a return tourist ticketfor cash, Ignatius boarded a Swissair flight for Genevaunobserved.Once in the Swiss capital Ignatius booked into an inconspicuous hotel,retired to bed and slept soundly for eight hours. Overbreakfast the following morning he studied the list of banks he had socarefully drawn up after completing his research in Nigeria: each namewas written out boldly in his own hand. Ignatius decided to startwith Gerber et Cie whose building, he observed from the hotel bedroom,took up half the Avenue de Parchine. He checked the telephonenumber with the concierge before placing a call. The chairman agreedto see him at twelve o'clock.Carrying only a battered briefcase, Ignatius arrived at the bank a few minutes before the appointed hour- an unusualoccurrence for a Nigerian, thought the young man dressed in a smartgrey suit, white shirt and grey silk tie, who was waiting in themarble hall to greet him. He bowed to the Minister, introducinghimself as the chairman's personal assistant, and explained that hewould accompany Ignatius to the chairman's office. The youngexecutive led the Minister to a waiting lift and neither manuttered another word until they had reached the eleventh floor. Agentle tap on the chairman's door elicited "Entree," which the youngman obeyed. "The Nigerian Minister of Finance, sir."The chairman rose from behind his desk and stepped forward to greet his guest. Ignatius could not help noticing that he too wore a grey suit, white shirt and grey silk tie."Good morning, Minister," thechairman said. "Won't you have a seat?" He ushered Ignatius towardsa low glass table surrounded by comfortable chairs on the far sideof the room. "I have ordered coffee for both of us if that isacceptable." Ignatius nodded, placed the battered briefcase on the floor by the side of his chair and stared out of the large plate-glass window. He made some smalltalk about the splendid view of the magnificentfountain while a girl served all three men with coffee.Once the young woman had left the room Ignatius got down to business."My Head of State has requested that I visit your bank with a rather unusual request," he began. Not a flicker of surprise appeared on the face of the chairman or his young assistant. "He has honoured me withthe task of discovering which Nigerian citizens hold numbered accounts with your bank." On learning this piece of information only the chairman's lips moved. "I am not at liberty to disclose -" "Allow me to put my case," said the Minister, raising a white palm. "First, let me assure you that I come with the absolute authority of my government." Without another word, Ignatius extracted an envelope from his inside pocket with a flourish. He handed it to the chairman who removed the letter inside and read it slowly.Once he had finished reading, thebanker cleared his throat. "This document, I fear, sir, carries novalidity in my country." He replaced it in the envelope and handed itback to Ignatius. "I am, of course," continued the chairman, "not for onemoment doubting that you have the full backing of your Head of State,both as a Minister and an Ambassador, but that does not changethe bank's rule of confidentiality in such matters. There are nocircumstances in which we would release the names of any of our account holders without their authority. I'm sorry to be of so little help, but those are, and will always remain, the bank rules." The chairman rose tohis feet, as he considered the meeting was now at an end; but hehad not bargained for Clean Sweep Ignatius."My Head of State," said Ignatius,softening his tone perceptibly,"has authorized me to approach your bank to act as the intermediary forall future transactions between my country and Switzerland.""We are flattered by yourconfidence in us, Minister," replied the chairman, who remainedstanding. "However, I feel sure that you will understand that itcannot alter our attitude to our customers' confidentiality." Ignatius remained unperturbed. "Then I am sorry to inform you, MrGerber, that our Ambassador in Geneva will be instructed to makean official communique to the Swiss Foreign Of lice about the lack ofco-operation your bank has shown concerning requests for informationabout our nationals." He waited for his words to sink in. "You couldavoid such embarrassment, of course, by simply letting me knowthe names of my countrymen who hold accounts with Gerber et Cie and theamounts involved. I can assure you we would not reveal the source ofour information." "You are most welcome to lodge such a communique, sir, and I feel sure that our Minister will explain to your Ambassador in the most courteous of diplomatic language that the Foreign Ministry does not have the authority under Swiss law to demand such disclosures.""If that is the case, I shall instruct my own ministry of Trade to halt all future dealings in Nigeria with any Swiss nationals until these names are revealed.""That is your privilege, Minister," replied the chairman,unmoved."And we may also have to reconsider every contract currentlybeing negotiated by your countrymen in Nigeria. And in addition I shallpersonally see to it that no penalty clauses are honoured.""Would you not consider such action a little precipitate?""Let me assure you, Mr Gerber,that I would not lose one moment of sleep over such a decision," saidIgnatius. "Even if my efforts to discover those names were to bringyour country to its knees I would not be moved.""So be it, Minister," replied the chairman. "However, it still does not alter the policy or the attitude of this bank toconfidentiality."."If that remains the case, sir, this very day I shall give instructions to our Ambassador to close our Embassy in Geneva and Ishall declare your Ambassador in Lagos persona non "rata."For the first time the chairman raised his eyebrows. "Furthermore," continued Ignatius, "I will hold a conference in London which will leave the world's press in no doubt of my Head of State's displeasure with the conduct of this bank. After such publicity Ifeel confident you will find that many of your customers would preferto close their accounts, while others who have in the pastconsidered you a safe haven may find it necessary to lookelsewhere."The Minister waited but still the chairman did not respond."Then you leave me no choice," said Ignatius, rising from hisseat.The chairman stretched out his arm, assuming that at last theMinister was leaving, only to watch with horror as Ignatius placed ahand in his jacket pocket and removed a small pistol. The twoSwiss bankers froze as the Nigerian Minister of Finance stepped forwardand pressed the muzzle against the chairman's temple."I need those names, Mr Gerber, and by now you must realise I will stop at nothing. If you don't supply them immediately I'm goingto blow your brains out. Do you understand?" The chairman gave a slight nod, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. "And he will be next,"said Ignatius, gesturing towards the young assistant, who stoodspeechless and paralysed a few paces away."Get me the names of every Nigerian who holds an account inthis bank," Ignatius said quietly, looking towards the young man, "orI'll blow your chairman's brains all over his soft pile carpet.Immediately, do you hear me?" he added sharply.The young man looked towards the chairman, who was now trembling but said quite clearly, "Nan, Pierre,jamais.""D 'accord," replied the assistant in a whisper."You can't say I didn't give you every chance." Ignatius pulled back the hammer. The sweat was nowpouring down the chairman's face and the young man had to turn hiseyes away as he waited in terror for the pistol shot.Excellent," said Ignatius, as he removed the gun from the chairman'shead and returned to his seat. Both the bankers were still tremblingand quite unable to speak. The Minister picked up the battered briefcase by the side ofhis chair and placed it on the glass table in front of him. Hepressed back the clasps and the lid flicked up.The two bankers stared down at the neatly packed rows ofhundred-dollar bills. Every inch of the briefcase had been taken up.The chairman quickly estimated that it probably amounted to around fivemillion dollars. "I wonder, sir," said Ignatius,"how I go about opening an accountwith your bank?"
And here i was thinking here comes another 'Nayak'.What a twist!nice :D
ReplyDeleteBut the twist in the first story is even more acute.
ReplyDelete